Toxic Syndrome

What's Stockholm syndrome?

Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological response to captivity and abuse in which the victim develops positive associations with their captors or abusers. With this syndrome, hostages or abuse victims may come to sympathize or protect their captors or abusers, which is the opposite of the fear, disdain, and terror you'd normally expect from the victims in these situations.

What is Stockholm syndrome in a relationship?

Stockholm syndrome in a relationship occurs when a person develops feelings of loyalty, affection, or attachment toward their abuser or captor. This can happen in abusive or controlling relationships, where the victim may justify or defend the abuser’s actions, even when they are harmful, and may feel dependent or emotionally connected to them despite the harm being caused.

What are the signs of Stockholm syndrome?

• Feeling empathy or affection toward the captor
• Defending or justifying the captor's actions, even when they are harmful
• Difficulty in leaving the situation, even when escape is possible
• Developing positive feelings about the captor over time
• Feeling emotionally attached or dependent on the captor
• Isolation from others, especially those who are trying to help

How long does Stockholm syndrome start?

Stockholm syndrome can develop within a short period of time, sometimes within hours or days of the initial trauma or captivity. The exact time it takes to develop depends on the severity of the situation, the level of control or manipulation exerted by the abuser, and the victim's psychological state. The syndrome can sometimes persist for months or even years after the situation ends.

How does this syndrome develop?

A person can develop Stockholm syndrome when they experience significant threats to their physical or psychological well-being. This is why experts believe it might be a coping mechanism... (Acting like you've developed Stockholm Syndrome is encouraged in a kidnap situation as it improves the chances of survival).

"Stockholm syndrome is the victim’s response to trauma and involves many social dynamics. Some of these social dynamics include conformity, groupthink, deindividuation, romantic love, and fundamental attribution error, among others."

What are the 4 stages of Stockholm syndrome?

The four stages of Stockholm syndrome typically include:

• Stage 1: The Initial Captivity – The victim experiences a sense of fear, confusion, and helplessness in the face of their abuser’s control.
• Stage 2: The Perceived Kindness – The abuser shows small acts of kindness or restraint, leading the victim to view them in a more positive light.
• Stage 3: The Bonding Phase – The victim begins to emotionally bond with the abuser, often seeing them as a protector and becoming more dependent on them.
• Stage 4: The Victim Identifies with the Abuser – The victim may start to identify with the abuser's views or justifications for their actions, developing loyalty or affection towards them.

Cure/Treatment

• Separation: Getting the victim as far away as possible from their toxic partner is the first step that should be taken. Although, while some victims slowly recover on their own after they've been separated from their captors... most women find it difficult to fully detach from the trauma bonding they've established with their captors. That's when therapy steps in.
• Psychotherapy/Psychoeducation: Counselling or psychological treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder can help alleviate the immediate issues associated with recovery such as anxiety and depression, short-term. Long-term, you'd need psychoeducation that deals with coping mechanisms and response tools to help you understand what happened, why it happened, and how you can move forward...
• Avoid Polarization: Don’t try to convince the victim of the villainous traits of the abuser; this may cause the victim to polarize and defend the perpetrator... It's like a trigger. Don't do it.

Learn more here

So to wrap it all up, please. If you know someone who's in a toxic relationship but is refusing or struggling to leave, understand and seek real further help. Don't blame the victim for what's happening (as extraaa common with Nigerians), prepare for the worst and help that person. Check out this TC article for an inside view.