I Suck at This Discipline Thing

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Discipline Always Feels Like a Good Idea—Until I Forget

I’ve always thought discipline was one of those traits you either had or didn’t. And for me? I struggle. Not because I don’t want to be disciplined, but because I always seem to “forget.” I’ll learn a great technique—like planning my day the night before or setting small goals, I even download these habits-builder apps—and it works for a while. But then, one day, I stop caring enough to follow through, and it all unravels.

It’s like my brain presses snooze on responsibility.

How My Academics Reveal the Discipline Battle

If there’s one part of my life that shows how much I struggle, it’s school. I have this habit of pushing off reading until the exam period. Then I binge-read for a week, thinking, This time will be different.

It usually starts out okay—I might even be proud of myself for getting through the first few subjects. But three days in, I hit the same wall: the rest of the syllabus looms over me, and I start rush-reading. Sometimes, I’ll cram hours before the exam, hoping the information sticks because it’s fresh. And sure, it works… kind of. But I can’t help wondering if just 1% effort daily would have been better.

The Weight of Failing to Follow Through

When I fail to follow through with my attempts at discipline, the feelings hit hard:

• Deflated.
• Lazy.
• Even self-hate.

It feels like I’ve disappointed myself in ways no one else could. And maybe that’s because I know deep down that discipline isn’t impossible—it’s just unpracticed.

Why Discipline Feels So Hard

I’ve realized something: I’ve never started small. I always go straight for the big things—changing everything all at once. It’s like trying to sprint before I’ve learned to walk. Of course, I fail or quit halfway. The perfectionist in me chimes in, whispering, If it’s not perfect, why bother?

And so, I stop.

Is It Laziness, ADHD, or Something Else?

Sometimes, I wonder if there’s more to this than just a lack of discipline. I’ve thought about ADHD—how it might explain the struggles that feel so much bigger than laziness.

But then the doubts creep in: What if I’m just taking the easy way out? What if I’m just lazy?

And yet, there are moments when it feels like it’s beyond my control. Like I’m in a kind of paralysis where my brain and body refuse to cooperate. It doesn’t feel like laziness—it feels deeper, like something is missing.

Sometimes, I think about how much validation a diagnosis could bring. It wouldn’t just give me an answer to the question that’s been haunting me—it might also equip me with tools I don’t have right now. Maybe medication could ground me, or therapy could arm me with techniques that actually work for me.

But then the doubt comes back: What if I’m just a special kind of lazy?

Still, when I look in the mirror, I know—I’m not just lazy.

What Discipline Would Look Like for Me

In my head, discipline looks like this beautiful, structured day:

• I wake up on time.
• I do my chores and make breakfast.
• At school, I pay attention, ask questions, and stay present.
• I come home, hand-wash my uniform if there’s no light for the washing machine, then take a shower and nap.
• I wake up, cook something to eat, and study.
• I review my day’s lessons and bring in my clothes.
• By night, I’m either scrolling on my phone or writing a blog post—a diary of sorts.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But getting from where I am to that level of discipline feels like climbing a mountain.

What This Has Taught Me About Discipline

Here’s the thing: discipline isn’t about being perfect—it’s about trying. I’ve realized I need to start small. Maybe instead of tackling everything at once, I can start with just one thing: washing my uniform right after school, no matter how tired I am.

Or maybe it’s about reminding myself that done is better than perfect.

Discipline doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be as small as showing up for yourself in little ways every day.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Now, let's dive into the second section of this post; Some of the most common questions around discipline.

Frequently Asked Questions About Discipline

How do I discipline myself?

Disciplining yourself starts with small, achievable goals. It's not about being perfect, but about consistency. Try setting tiny habits, like waking up at the same time every day or reading for just 10 minutes a day. Discipline isn't a sprint; it's a marathon.

Why is it difficult to be disciplined?

Discipline is hard because it requires consistent effort, and many of us aren’t taught how to practice it regularly. When we try to take on too much at once, it can feel overwhelming, leading us to quit before we even start. Starting small and being patient with yourself can make it easier to practice discipline long-term.

How do you force yourself to be disciplined?

Forcing yourself into discipline doesn’t always work, but reminding yourself of the long-term benefits can help. Start by building one small habit at a time and creating a routine. Remember, discipline isn’t about being harsh on yourself—it’s about taking control in a way that aligns with your goals.

Why do I struggle to be disciplined?

You might struggle with discipline if you’re trying to jump into big changes all at once. Often, perfectionism and fear of failure can hold us back. Discipline is about practicing small, incremental actions, and over time, these actions will add up to something greater.

How does ADHD affect discipline?

ADHD can make discipline difficult because it often impacts focus, motivation, and the ability to manage tasks. Those with ADHD may struggle to stay organized, plan ahead, and follow through with tasks, leading to frustration and feelings of failure. Understanding how ADHD affects your brain can help you implement techniques that work for you. 

Is ADHD just a lack of discipline?

ADHD is not just a lack of discipline. It's a neurological condition that impacts how your brain processes tasks, attention, and motivation. Discipline can be much harder to achieve for someone with ADHD because they are working against brain chemistry, not just willpower. But with the right strategies, they can still build good habits.