Silent Cuts: A Story and Silent Cuts: A Poem

Two takes on friendship breakups: a story of fractured bonds and a poem of silent hurts.

Silent Cuts: A Story

Ijeoma was sprawled on her couch in Port Harcourt, the ceiling fan humming against the sticky evening heat.

Silent Cuts story on broken friendship and silent hurts

Her phone glowed as she scrolled through Instagram, and a meme about an overzealous pastor commanding his church ushers to close the doors caught her eye. She laughed, her thumb darting to forward it to Cassie. She could picture Cassie’s snort, her quick reply with a string of skull emojis. But right after tapping the icon, she froze. The truth hit: she couldn’t send it. She couldn’t send Cassie memes anymore. Their friendship had fractured, and the ache of it lingered, way longer than she’d expected it to.

Friendship breakups have a way of staying with you, way longer than you’d expect them to. Ijeoma felt it every time she wanted to share something trivial, like a meme, only to realize she had no right to anymore. The hurt wasn’t just the absence; it was the nagging sense she could’ve done more, said something different, acted better. But deep down, she knew the truth: there was nothing else she could’ve done.

She and Cassie had been close since their uni days, their bond forged over late-night shawarma runs and as campus business partners. But things had shifted, and after their blowout a month ago, they hadn’t spoken. Ijeoma kept replaying it, trying to make sense of where they stood.

Friendship dynamics, she thought, tend to be either stable or unstable, real or fake. But with Cassie, it dangled perfectly in between. She wasn’t sure if it was stable or unstable, real or fake. How do you navigate that? How do you move through shaky grounds when you know someone cares about you, but their actions consistently make you forget they do, unsure they even like you? Cassie would swear she had Ijeoma’s back, but then her actions would show she didn't. It was the silent cuts that tore at her, tiny moments that built up until they ripped the paper apart.

Like that night at a colleague’s wedding, when Ijeoma was nervous about fitting in. Cassie knew she was scared but snapped at her for being “dramatic.” Or that time they were walking home from a bar near GRA, and Cassie strode ahead on a street Ijeoma didn’t know, leaving her in the dark without a glance back. And when Cassie acted like being around Ijeoma was an inconvenience she had to tolerate instead of a moment she enjoyed, could Ijeoma still call that a friendship? It was the speed up or I’m leaving you moments, Cassie was always impatient, if you don’t wear your shoes quickly I’m walking ahead of you, if you make me stand more than two minutes waiting for you I’m leaving you, if you don’t walk as fast as I do I’m leaving you. If you can’t catch up with me I won’t slow down for you, I won’t match up my steps with you, I’m leaving you. Those moments were always small, like tiny cuts on a paper, slowly weakening it.

She’d tried to address it before the blowout. God knows she tried. But every time she mentioned how Cassie’s actions stung, it either fizzled out or escalated. “You’re overthinking,” Cassie would say, or it’d turn into a shouting match. Ijeoma was too tired to keep communicating when it resolved nothing. How do you navigate asking for more? She didn’t know, and the question gnawed at her.

The blowout had been different, though. It was direct and unhinged as both parties called each other selfish and hypocritical.

Ijeoma kept circling back to those memories that made it hard to let go. Cassie had been there when Ijeoma’s ex, Chidi, dogged her out, listening to her rant for the thirtieth time about his nonsense, willing her to never break No Contact. Ijeoma had done the same, staying up to prevent Cassie from texting her own ex evidence that she'd moved on, laughing over her latest fling’s drama. They both sent each other hour long voice notes whenever they weren't together and spent all their time together talking and laughing. Their synergy was undeniable—when something crazy happened, their eyes would meet without a word, and they’d just get it. But what outranked what? The warmth of those moments or the sting of the silent cuts? Did the pain make it real, or was it real because there was pain?

Ijeoma also wondered why it was so hard to just say Cassie hadn’t been good to her. Did she label it “incompatibility” because she didn’t want to admit the truth? That maybe Cassie’s care wasn’t enough to outweigh the hurt? Why did the breakup hurt even when Cassie had treated her like that? She thought of another moment, like that rainy afternoon they got stuck at a cafe, betting on who could guess the most lyrics to old Rema songs, laughing until their sides hurt. Those times felt so alive, but they didn’t erase the distance.

She kept circling back to one question: do great friendships go through this journey where you have to figure out if you want this to continue or if you’re ready to pull the plug? She thought about it constantly, especially now, as she sat alone, the city’s noise filtering through her window. As she sat there, the memory of their Rema lyrics game flickered again, stubborn and warm. Maybe that was worth fighting for, she thought—maybe the good could still outweigh the cuts. Should she even ask or just walk away? Tonight, something shifted. Ijeoma decided she wasn’t ready to let go. Great friendships, she thought, must go through this—tests, fights, moments of doubt. She wanted to fight for it, to bridge the gap. Cassie’s words about her self-focus still stung, and Ijeoma knew she’d have to own that, to listen better if they moved forward.

She picked up her phone, heart pounding, and dialed Cassie’s number.

Silent Cuts: A Poem

Silent Cuts poem about friendship breakup and lingering loss.

friendship breakups have a way
of staying with you,
way longer than you’d expect it to.

you’d see a meme online
and immediately want to send it to them
but you’d pause
right after you’ve clicked on the icon
and you realize now you can’t,
you can’t send the memes,
friendship breakups hurt
because you’d always feel
like you could’ve done more,
said something different
acted better
but the truth will stare you in the face
reminding you
there was nothing else you could have done.

friendship dynamics tend to be
either stable or unstable.
real or fake.
but sometimes they dangle
perfectly in between,
when you’re not sure
if this is stable or unstable,
if it’s real or fake,
what about then?

how do you navigate the shaky grounds
when you know someone cares about you,
but their actions consistently
make you forget they do,
unsure they even like you.

what do you do in the silent cuts
that eventually rip the paper apart,
those tiny moments
where their actions have stung you
but you’re too tired to communicate
because you’ve seen it resolves nothing,
maybe even turns it into a huge fight

how do you navigate asking for more?
should you even ask
or just walk away?

when a friend does not hold your hand
when they know you’re scared,
can you still call them a friend?

when a friend leaves you in the dark
walking off in front of you
on a street you’ve never been on,
do you still call them a friend?

when a friend acts like being around you
is an inconvenience they must tolerate
instead of a moment they enjoy?
can you still call that a friendship?

do we label people who are bad to us
as mere incompatibility
just because we don’t want to say
they simply weren’t good to us?

why do friendship breakups hurt
even when they treated you like that?
is it the memories
of the nice way they treated us otherwise,
how they listened to us rant
for the thirtieth time
about an ex boyfriend who dogged us out?
the time you listened
to their hour long voice notes
consuming gist as e dey hot,
is it when your synergy links up so nicely
whenever something crazy happens
your eyes instantly meet
without having to say a word
and you both just get it.

what outranks what and are they even in competition?
do the pain make it real?
or is it real because there is pain?
do great friendships go through this journey
where you have to figure out
if you want this to continue
or if you’re ready to pull the plug.
friendship breakups have a way
of staying with you,
way longer than you’d expect it to.