Dating for Stability vs. Building My Own: A Writer’s Reality Check

i think my weirdest dream for the longest time has to belong to someone...or maybe somewhere.

in a way modern society no longer wants women to be. maybe in some parts it is a form of advanced laziness … or maybe a quest for peace?

but i crave an indoors focused life. be it with The man or not, i always wanted to just be inside. some days i want to be a wife some days i want to be a mother but in both days and always, i want to be a writer… it’s a consistent theme even though the husband bit or the child bit is not always quite certain, i’ve always fancied myself… indoors and writing or painting. it’s a constant drawing I've felt, pun intended.

i have to get rich enough on my own to achieve this, but sometimes i wonder if it 'itself' might not just help me achieve richness. my writing? my drawing? what if it comes before the other?

the wealth to channel talent or the talent to channel wealth?

sometimes it’s a silly thought but a thought that prevails none the less.

The Dream: A Life of Writing, Painting, and Solitude

i either get rich to live in a high rise apartment, those fancy ones you need to tap on a different set of buttons in the elevator to get to, and line up my entrance leading inside the living room with paintings i’ve done and a canva already set overlooking the city’s beautiful view and a terrific ocean line, and not too far from the room my personal computer set with a manuscript open that i’m soon to complete... of my fifth novel.

you see the life I picture for myself? absent of a man and a kid. but yet...

i either get rich on my own by slaving through capitalism, or the quick fix… marrying rich

Why 'Marrying Rich' Often Feels Like a Trailer of Red Flags

but you see the problem with marrying rich is you have to find sensible rich, and the rich i’ve been finding have been anything but sensible, they've been a trailer of red flags.

apparently they’re either extremely stingy (ironically enough!) or not okay in the head (mostly expected tbf). if he’s not crying about how much he spent on his ex who eventually still either cheated or he suspecttttts she cheated he's crying about how if you really listen and hear what he's not saying, he technically couldn’t have bought all these things for her because her parents were rich already and everything she “asked” for were things her parents could already do, if they're not all that bull, they’re overly controlling and trying to figure out if you’re “there for their money”… well duhhhhhh, hello?! of course yes

so the rich i’ve been running into are so … not right candidates. which is why I seriously don't understand why men think up prostitution as how women are so rich instead of thinking fraud... just saying.

The 50/50 Marriage Trap: Why Traditional Career Paths Clash with Creativity

the other middle class normies like me, or at least i think i am… they want a “hardworking” 50/50 wife and that clashes with the whole concept behind why I am trying to marry rich, I need the creative freedom to...create, not someone who'd have me check into an office 9-5 then come back in and clean and cook and clean and cook and clean and cook and clean and cook and clean and cook. man I want to write! and draw!

and how unfair is that? these middle class normies like me? how can i have enough creative juice for myself if in addition to cleaning and cooking, i have to clock into a 9-5.