Teenage Relationships (Are you truly ready for a relationship?)

This Guest Post Was Written By Crystal

You know that moment your mum or your dad is giving you life advices and they bring up relationships, and they're like "You're not ready...", while you quietly sit there and hiss in your mind because you believe you are ready?

Maybe because you've been in a few relationships, seen your friends in relationships or maybe because you are already in a relationship? Whichever the reason, do you really think you are ready? Are you? Yes? Then why did your former relationships not work out? (Assuming you're not new to the dating scene).. Why is your current relationship a little bit shaky?

No no, I don't mean to be a sourpuss or anything like that, I really just want you to check if you are really ready, or are you just ready for the attraction, the butterflies in your stomach, the dates, the romance or maybe the sex which is one of the mistakes we make(I'll get to that)

But have you ever asked yourself if you are ready for the fights, the arguments, the insecurities, lack of communication, the pain and the trauma that comes with a relationship? Exactly.

You know I've always wondered why our parents prevent us from being in a relationship even though, we think we are mature enough; It always annoyed me whenever my mum said: "Remember, you don't have time for boys, focus on your education you still have a long way to go" like why couldn't she just let me date? After all, I was mature... But then I finally figured it all out, I realized, a relationship is way deeper than what we think..

It's not always about "love". I know if I ask 2 or 3 different teenagers within different age groups why they're dating the person they're with, I'm bound to hear: "It's because I love him/her" but is love really a tangible factor for a relationship? (Sorry I'm full of questions, I'm just curious)

What is love? Scientifically, it's simply a chemical reaction in the Brain, but what really is love that makes it so irresistible that it pushes us into a relationship and makes us overlook other factors that need to be considered?

What is a relationship? I don't think there's a definite definition for it so here's my own definition: "A relationship is the coming together of two people to be with each other, support each other, be each other's peace and build with each other" Yeah, it's such a beautiful thing right? but are you ready for the responsibility that comes with it? To be someone's peace? To support someone emotionally, financially, mentally?

A relationship is no child's play, it's not for fun and it's definitely not something to pass time with. Our generation has put so much meaning into relationships that it has lost its true meaning. We've made it a 'way to pass time', a ticket to free sex, a way to misuse the word "love" and I think this is what our parents were protecting us from.

Now I've introduced a new concept to you, are you still ready? Hold on, before you say yes.

A few things you should consider before entering a relationship and if you have all that it takes then you're free to say yes.

• Do you really understand what it means to be in a relationship?
• Do you understand it's not always about the butterflies, dates, romance but also about the pain and fights?
• Do you have a purpose? Come on, if I were to ask you right now, 'What's your purpose?', what would you tell me? Is it to pass time? To have sex? To have fun? Or actually positively build up with your partner?
• Are you willing to put in the work?
• Are you independent? I mean do you have anything to offer and I'm sorry I don't mean flowers, sex or kisses. I mean do you have the potential to add to your partner's life? Mentally, spiritually and financially?
• Do you love yourself enough to love someone else?? I know it's possible to love someone without loving yourself but that's so risky because that's when insecurity and lack of trust begins to set in and shake the foundation of a relationship.. So do you love yourself enough to love someone else?? Have you cleaned up the mess in your head??
• What's your reason for going into the relationship, to pass time? Is it out of boredom? You want sex? Or maybe you don't even know?? Now that you've answered this question, are you still ready for it? Or I should mind my business?? lol..

I know some of you all will think, a relationship shouldn't be this complicated but hunny it is, it is that complicated.

So if you are not ready... If you have no answer to the above questions then darling focus on yourself and prepare yourself for it. That's the only way to bring back the love, spark and importance of the word "relationship"

Now I'm going to go eat some popcorn and let y'all ponder on how ready you are.. Comment your thoughts on this topic.