His Fault

Why do people keep throwing back 'abusive fathers' as insults to women?

Why do men throw 'absent fathers' as insults to women?

Why do these people fail to recognize how internalized their level of victim shaming is; that they see mentioning someone having a toxic father as an insult? Like, something you should automatically BE ashamed of. Why?

They always fail to acknowledge, what they're saying is still, aligning with whatever the woman is also saying.

To them, it's amusing and absolutely un-understandable how absolutely logical it is to be disappointed in men on default 'just because', their fathers failed... Meanwhile it is psychologically NORMAL. 

Her first heartbreak was her father, the 'useless and abusive' man, was her introduction to men, that's the standard her father kept for her, in regards to viewing men, your nuclear family is your first and fundamental school, and she learnt not to trust any man ever since, now here's the shocking part (for most of you), believe it or not; It was not her responsibility to 'not get her heart broken', it was her father's responsibility, to 'not break her heart'.

This common fact sounds really simple, it's literally 2+2=4, but because 'men' can never accept blame, or acknowledge they're indeed flawed, they always struggle...

And that's what fuels this rape culture, this victim shaming.

Everyone is always focused on 'girl' getting her 'heart broken', it's always... 'What were you wearing?' 'What were you doing with him?' 'Why didn't you shout?' 'Why did you go there?', because men AND women inadvertently want to skip over the fact, that they should be *blaming* these men for 'breaking' these women's 'hearts' instead.

They want to skip over the fact that it should be men with the responsibility to do better, to be better humans, to not rape, to not be toxic... It FULLY, rests on these men.

Questions like 'Why did you touch her?' 'Why didn't you stop when she said no' 'Why did you hit her' 'Why can't you control your sexual urges', should always be directed at men... men are the ones committing crimes, they're the ones in the wrong here. They are wrong. But rape culture, works hand in hand with patriarchy, and patriarchy is so deep-rooted in society and that's why you even see women, victim blaming, and their conditioning goes deep, a system which has trained them to inadvertently, BLAME themselves, BLAME their gender, for anything WRONG a man does, a system that has conditioned them to even find it next to IMPOSSIBLE for them to accept a man has done wrong, a system that is so rigged to the point women are always being held accountable for the crimes, the sins of men, they're the ones to answer stupid and pointless questions, they're the ones to carry the 'shame' and these women are the ones I pity the most.

I feel incredibly sad because someone has evidently failed them, someone has made them ashamed of their femininity, ashamed of their gender, so they can only seek out ways to feel accepted by the other gender.

There's nothing beautiful about being a patriarchy princess, but there's everything ugly about believing patriarchy would ever crown you.